Quotable

Near the end of Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty, the colonel starts messaging you and spouts off a lot of weird and funny shit. Of course, the game eventually explains why the colonel went crazy Spoiler (highlight to read): The “Colonel" is not an actual person, but an elaborate artificial intelligence constructed by the artificial intelligence system, controlling Arsenal Gear, and based on Raiden's perception of the real Col. Campbell.

"Raiden something happened to me last Thursday when I was driving home. I had a couple of miles to go -- I looked up and saw a glowing orange object in the sky, to the east! It was moving very irregularly...suddenly there was intense light all around me -- and when I came to, I was home. What do you think happened to me?"

"Kawanishi-Noseguchi, Kinunobebashi, Takiyama, Uguisunomori, Tsuzumigataki, Tada, Hirano, Ichinotoriim Uneno, Yamashita, Sasabe, Kofudai, Tokiwadai, Myoukenguchi."

"Honestly, though, you have played the game for a long time. Don't you have anything else to do with your time?"

"An Anemone or Clematic Plant's juice can cause a rash. When pruning them it's a good idea to wear gloves."

"I hear it's amazing when the gamouse purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink on Hara-kiri Rock. I need scissors! 61!"

"Actually, there is something I have been meaning to tell you but I just couldn't...I think you should know, though. On Saturday morning last week, I saw a guy leave Rosemary's room. How should I put it, it was like they were..."intimate". I'm sorry. Sorry to bring this up during the mission, but..." [note Rosemary is the protagonist’s girlfriend]

"Actually, I am in really bad shape financially. I pay money to my ex-wife as part of our divorce settlement, among other bills. I just had no choice but to make you pay for lunch the other day. I'm really sorry."

"I was a North American Fall Webworm in my past life. Those were the good old days...What were you in your former life?"

"Even my patience has its limits. I just can't leave this thing up to you any longer. I'll do the fighting! You can just go home!"

"I noticed this a while back, but you have far too many Game Overs. Sorry to be blunt, but you really stink at this game."

"You seem to get a real thrill out of slaughtering the enemy. Are you frustrated about something?"

"Snake, you're all alone and surrounded by bad guys. Try to be careful and avoid getting into a fight whenever you can."

"You enjoy all the killing!"

"You wouldn't be trying to give yourself a bogus score by using some

ingenious trick would you? That's just about as low as anyone could possibly stoop! I can't believe you sometimes..."

(Note: If you get this quote, then all your weapons will be reloaded with full ammo when Snake gives them back to you)

"ZZ...zz..."

"That reminds me, I saw Gubayama the other day in Shibomnigee. He said to give you his best."

"Munch, Munch...Um? Raiden? I'm eating right now. Get back to me later.... Munch, munch..."

"La-li-lu-le-lo! La-li-lu-le-lo!! La-li-lu-le-lo!!!"

"I'm not home right now. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEP"

"Mind the gap."

"I can't believe the person who committed those sick acts in the women's bathroom made it this far."

Stuff that the colonel mentions that comes from older games

"Variety Level 7, Shoot down the space invaders! Training will have to be postponed if we are invaded by ufos." -- Metal Gear Solid - The VR Missions (PSX)

"Snake, There's a fork in the conveyor belt. The machine is automatically sorting cargo according to some system. Take a good look at the device." -- Metal Gear - Ghost Babel (GBC)

"Snake, Like Shakespeare said, "Noughts had, all's spent, where our desire is got without content." Basiclly, it means your desire can get you into trouble if you're not careful. That goes for items too. Don't get greedy or you may be sorry. Be careful, Snake." -- Mei Ling, Metal Gear Solid (PSX)

"Weapon mode Socom Level 1. Destroy all targets to reach the goal! Number of targets: 3." -- Metal Gear Solid - The VR Missions (PSX)

"Snake, they've input both detonation codes. The only way to stop the launch is to use the card key to reinput the codes." -- Metal Gear Solid (PSX)

"Big Boss here...Enter the track on the bridge to the right...over."

"Variety level 13 -- Rescue Maryl, the return of Genola." -- from Metal Gear Solid - The VR Missions (PSX)

"...Infiltrate...

...the enemy fortress...

...Outer Heaven!

...Destroy...

...The final weapon...

...Metal Gear!"

"Snake, Take the power plant out. Set C4 explosives on four key points to destroy the structure. Snake, destroy the power plant's main turbine. It's located in the B1 floor of the plant. Break into the B1 floor." -- Metal Gear - Ghost Babel (GBC)

"I say again. Your duty is to infiltrate Zanzibar Land and seize Kio Marf, an abducted Czechoslovakian biologist." -- Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake (MSX)

"Communitcator Entertainment Program Idea Spy 2.5 Episode 1. New York. Here in the city where dreams come true and desires rule, something is being brought, sold and thrown away, even as we speak. But behind the scenes of business as usual, the nefarious J.E. (Junker Expensive) Corporation lines its already bloated coffers with profits from worthless products. As j.E. swindles yet another innocent into purchasing high-priced junk, the FBI mobilizes a top secret task force to stop the menace. Now, the city's best kept secret spy is out there, briefed and ready to protect people from J.E., the catalouge of conspiracy... Just call him, 2.5." -- Snatcher (lotsa platforms)

"President Baker should be somewhere to the south of where you blasted through the wall. Hurry and save him before the terrorists discover his code." -- Metal Gear Solid (PSX)

"Your mission is to infiltrate the fortress Galuada, rescue the hostages and neutralize Metal Gear before its assembly is complete." -- Metal Gear - Ghost Babel (GBC)

"You got a PSG-1? You can use that against Sniper Wolf. Hurry up and save Meryl!" -- Metal Gear Solid (PSX)