Killing the diet industry

Meg: Wow Brian, have you lost weight? You got to tell me your secret

Brian: here’s a hint…. PUT DOWN THE FORK. FACE!

How to lose weight

1) Eat less calories.

2) Exercise more.

3) Do jumping jacks in the sauna for a couple hours. Make sure to wear 3+ layers of clothes.

Take the scientific approach: Record the amount of #1 and record the length of #2. Not losing weight? Do more of 1 and 2 until you do.

I claim no responsibility for any of the consequences of #3.

It’s really that simple. But people are always looking for those “but there must be someway I can get my daily Mcdonalds fix?!” and “does playing Half Life 2 count as exercise” loopholes.

Grrrrr