The Special Ed Mix: Trilogy (The Iron Ring - Dinner

"Smashed-up against a car at three A.M.
Kids just up for basketball, beat me in my head
There's bum trash in my hall and my place is ripped
I've totaled another amp, I'm calling in sick

It's an anthem in a vacuum on a hyperstation
Day dreaming days in a daydream nation"

Wednesday March 22, 2006.

Big milestone in my life because it’s the day that I receive my iron ring. The iron ceremony took place at the Vancouver Playhouse, which is near the stadium skytrain station. According to our email, “2) Be on time at the front doors at 1:30pm sharp !! Do NOT be late, otherwise come back next year !”. Winnie wanted to meet me at Joyce St and it was 1pm, so I told her I’d only wait until 1:15. No surprise, Winnie was late and I leave without her. We both ended up together at the back of the line at the playhouse and she didn’t seem to mind my early departure. Good thing. She can be so temperamental. Actually there were a lot of people still in line at 1:30pm and the ceremony didn’t even start until 2:30pm. Hence I was a little annoyed by Norman’s misleading email about punctuality.

Despite it being business casual, I was little surprised by everyone dressing up. I kind of stuck out like a sore thumb with my plain brown shirt, khakis and skate shoes. Personally I didn’t want to dress because I figured I’d be getting into some shit later on.

The engineering committee (they had some other name that I can’t recall right now) strongly prefers to keep its affairs private. Therefore I’m not going to talk too much about the ceremony other than mentioning the strong Christian overtones, cult-like chanting and long metal chains.

My ring was size 5 and it was fairly to slide off my pinky finger. After the ceremony, there was the expected photo op and everyone shook hands. I didn’t bring my camera because a) I might’ve lost it and b) everyone else had their camera. Hopefully more people posted their pictures on the shared drive before school ends.

Eventually, a bunch of us decided to go to the Irish Heather (a pub in Gastown). Another group of people apparently went to play pool and another group went to the Shark club. Unfortunately, it just started to rain and being a good guy, I gave my umbrella to Alvaro since he was wearing his good suit. But to this date, I still haven’t gotten my umbrella back and he might’ve lost it. Nice guys finish last. In the pub, I had bangers and mash (sausage and mashed potatoes) for the first time and it was alright. A tad pricey (9 bucks).

After a while, we eventually departed for La Bodega Restaurante & Tapa-Bar (1277 Howe Street) for the official CHBE iron ring dinner. The restaurant has done well in the Georgia Straight’s reader choice awards, but I beg to differ. Personally, I feel tapas is yuppie and unsubstantial food. Once I was supposed to meet up with friends at Hapa Izakaya (1479 Robson St), and before leaving my place, I ate a small bowl of cereal. The sad sad sad thing: the cereal was more filling than the “meal” at H.I. and the cereal w/milk costed ~$0.50 versus the $20/person at H.I. The food was alright at H.I, but didn’t justify the $20/head bill. Anyways at La Bodega, the food was flat out bland. To add insult to injury, I had to pay for some wine I drank (I honestly thought it came with the dinner and I don’t even like wine…grrrrr).

On the up and up, everyone received a free yearbook and the rest of the dinner was spent writing in the aforementioned yearbooks. I received a bunch of nice comments with most being a) you’re a funny guy or b) you’re really frank. Thanks. I guess.

Although some people went elsewhere, most people headed to Hollywood North Cabaret (856 Seymour Street) for karaoke. Me and a group of guys left the restaurant first and along the way, we decided to go into the Penthouse strip club for a drink or two. On the 98B-line, I’ve passed this club many times and to me, it always seemed like an upscale strip joint. Not really. There was no cover and it was medium sized, but the stripper was awful. Personally, strip clubs are pretty un-arousing for me. Why? I’m not so sure. But if some hot regular girl just started disrobing that would hot. This stripper was just awful though. Her special move was to lie down and with her legs in the air, rub a poster over her pussy. She’d then give the poster to some chump in the front row. Yummy. At the two other strip clubs I’ve been, the strippers would do some athletic maneuvers on the pole or some other crazy shit (i.e., no gag reflex + long cucumber + customer lying on his back). There was none of that here.

After one drink, we finally headed to karaoke. The place was dark and run by Japanese people. On the right side of the lounge, a number of the waitresses were chatting it up with these men. To the normal person, it looked these girls were going to be involved in some extra curricular activities, but according to Chris (who temporarily lived in Japan), this was a cultural norm. Alright.

The available songs were listed in these big binders and I was surprised by some of the available songs: The Beatles (one full page), Led Zeppelin, Smashing Pumpkins, U2, Guns n Roses, Radiohead. Personally, I had hard time deciding what to sing. I was mulling over these 3 choices for a while.

The Beatles – Got to Get You In My Life
Marvin Gaye – What’s Going On
U2 – With or Without You.

Looking back, these songs would’ve also been fun to do:

The Beatles – Rocky Raccoon
The Smashing Pumpkins - Bullet With Butterfly Wings

Not to mention, I kept goading Alvaro in picking a duet for us. However, I'd have to be plastered if I was going to sing.

First up, Pat sang “You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling” by The Righteous Brothers. I didn’t quite understand the significance of this until I saw Top Gun two weeks later. Other notable songs: Cef and Sonny singing “Sexual Healing” by Marvin Gaye. Tim sang some Chinese song that sounded awfully familiar and he actually sounded good (haha Tim would eventually lose his yearbook to tend to a vomiting Erikson). Friedick saw some love song and as usual he sounded good (he did place 4^th in UBC idol). A number of Japanese and Chinese guys sang too and we would usually cheer and applaud them.

Two songs that went really badly: “Welcome to the Jungle” by Guns n Roses and “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls. These two songs went badly because the singer(s) couldn’t keep up with the rapid fire lyrics. I think the latter was actually cut short by the hostess because they stunk that badly.

Meanwhile, I had some 151, Tequila, beer, rum and coke. Eventually I started to feel a bit tipsy and hungry, so I went to 7-11 for a hotdog. When I was walking back from 7-11, I noticed that about half of our CHBE group was leaving. Those pansies.

After some more rum and coke, beer and a zombie, I was ready to let loose. (NOTE: things started to get hazy from here on out) I ended up joining a group session of “We are the champions” by Queen at some point. Then I found myself near the stage just as “Creep” by Radiohead was starting. I then jumped on stage and proceed to give my best Thom Yorke impression. In reality, I sounded a lot more like a slurring Frank Black. People later told me that I was more screaming then singing. Aw shucks. Planet Telex or the Bends would’ve been a lot more fun to sing than Creep, but Creep was the only Radiohead song. At some point, I was jumping up and down while singing except I ended up backing into the equipment (or was it the wall?). At that point, I thought the hostess was going to cut my session short, but thankfully she did not.

Eventually I settled on “What’s going on” by Marvin Gaye, except the hostess informed me that there was no time left for anymore songs (the lounge closed at 2am and it was like 12:45ish). I was and still am choked about it.

Eventually, “Dancing Queen” by ABBA was played except no one was on-stage. Truth be told, I’ve only listened to a U2 cover of Dancing Queen a couple of times, so aside from the chorus, I totally didn’t know the cadence of the song. I ended up going back into my slurring Frank Black mode. Friedick yelled out that there was too much Linkin Park in my singing. Oh man that was bad because Linkin Park is fucking awful. I might’ve as well start farting into the mic.

Along with the singing, there was much drunken dancing and plenty of me screaming out “GET THE FUCK UP” to people still sitting as a group of us went onto the dance floor. YMCA was played at some point and that was fun as both groups (CHBE and everyone else in the place) got into it. Near the end, Alvaro and I went up to sing the “Cheers” theme song except it was just as long as the TV version (20-30 seconds). Great pick dumbass.

Alas the clock hit 2 and we had to leave via the back exit. In the back alley, this intoxicated elderly Japanese business man gave a bunch of hugs before he left. Andreas and Graeme decided to walk back to Dunbar….. drinking in every bar along the way. Court, Chris, Pat, Alvaro, and I decided to crash at Jason’s place downtown. Along the way we stopped for pizza and Alvaro and I rapped “Ten Crack Commandents” by Biggie. I also called dibs on the doorway which seemed like a really good idea at the time. At least I ended up with a blanket and pillow. Chris & Court got the cushioning/sleeping bag, Alvaro got the couch, Pat got the floor beside the couch and Jason slept under his desk. Could’ve been worse.

Epilogue

I woke up after 4 hours of sleep. I thought of leaving but I didn’t want to leave with the door unlocked and everyone was still asleep. Unfortunately, it felt like my stomach had been run through a meat tenderizer and I sat there for 1.5 hours. I tried throwing up, but nothing would come out. Eventually I managed to throw up in the washroom which immediately got rid of the stomach ache. Bok choy and 7-11 hot dog bits. Yum. Jason woke up soon after and once I had a couple glasses of water, I headed home.

When I got home, I couldn’t sleep, so I spent the rest of the day playing dota. My mom was frustrated by my inability to call home the night before to say that I wasn’t coming home. Of course I didn’t tell her what actually happened.

Pictures

Graeme, Andreas, and me. I do not remember this moment