You know you're a wanksta when

- You use the word “fam” but you aren’t packing any heat (guns for the uninformed)

- You think Eminem is the greatest rapper of all time (there is music outside of radio, MUCH and MTV)

- You have nice rims…..on a shitty car (nice rims on a pile of shit is just that. Nice rims on a pile of shit)

Speaking of rims, that reminds of “Pimp My Ride”

The premise behind the show is actually not half bad. Poor kids get their decadent cars seriously upgraded at no cost and if you seen the show, most of the cars are garbage on wheels. Not to mention, I like the subtle messages of “see what happens when you avoid self destructive activities! (ie, doing crack, gangbanging, etc)” and “with hard work, you can achieve anything!”

Then again, I feel that, for most people, these inspiring messages are drowned out by the main message of the show:

“You ain’t shit if you don’t have a fly ride”

PhD in microbiology? 18” upper arms? Saving little babies on a daily basis?

“You ain’t shit if you don’t have a fly ride”

What is a laugh track

laugh track
n.

1. Recorded laughter added to a soundtrack, as of a television or radio show.

2. Sounds used to cover up weak writing

3. A cue for simpletons

What happens when you play in the house league.....

No, I’m not an expert in any sport, but I do notice things. Hence I am pissed when my teammates don’t heed my advice.

1) Volleyball game (2002)

Go watch a close basketball game. There will be times when the two teams will be trading points, but inevitably, one team will go on a run at some point (ie, 10-0 or 21-7 etc). Unless the coach is retarded, he will usually call a timeout to stop the momentum, especially at a key moment in the game. Volleyball is similar in that can be a game of runs.

We were in the third and final set. First to 15 points wins.

We came out flat and the other team jumped out to a big lead (it was like 7-0).

Me (technically the captain): Timeout!
Clueless Hamber Prez: No no! Keep playing.
Other clueless people: Yeah. Keep playing!

The other team didn’t let up. There was no 2004 Red Sox-esque comeback for us.

A winner is them.

One of the 19 reasons why I went 1-19 in the first two years of UBC volleyball

2) Ultimate (2003)

It was a really close game between them and us. I distinctly remembered that we were always playing one more male player than them.

To be kind, the girls on the other team just sucked. If they somehow fluked out and caught the Frisbee, they could’ve probably managed a half decent 10 foot pass…. if they were really really lucky. I’m sure the 3 guys on the other team thought the same way, because they rarely sent a pass to their female teammates. And when they did, the girls would drop the pass.

Me: We should double/triple team the guys because those girls suck.
The rest of the team: ……….

We continued to pointlessly cover the other female players. We ended up losing.

A winner we’re not.

Fumes = bad

From Wikipedia...

The release of the 1982 album, The Number Of The Beast, brought its fair share of controversy. The title track had many people, particularly in the US, accusing the band of being Satanic. The members of Iron Maiden tried to deflect this criticism by insisting that the lyrics were based on a dream by Steve Harris, but the accusations persisted. A group of Christian activists decided that the band's records (along with those of Ozzy Osbourne) should be destroyed - resulting in a mountain of vinyl records being burnt in a large fire. Pandemonium ensued when the activists were forced to flee the resultant fumes. It was then decided that smashing the records with hammers would be a better way to dispose of them.

Idiots.

No pork for you

I was going to paraphrase the next bit, but it was sooo much easier to do a copy and paste job. Apparently, many websites have claimed this piece as their own, when it was obvious that they just copied it. So for the record, I didn’t write the follow piece

The Jews and Christians are also forbidden from eating pork. Here is a quote from the Old Testament to that effect: "And the swine, because it divideth the hoof, yet cheweth not the cud, it is unclean unto you: ye shall not eat of their flesh, nor touch their dead carcase." Deuteronomy 14:8.

Many Christians believe that this verse was directed only at the Jews. But Jesus himself says during the Sermon on the Mount; "Think not that I am come to destroy the Law, or the Prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfill." Some Christians say that, after a vision by St. Peter, God cleansed all animals and made them fit and lawful for human consumption. If ALL animals are cleansed by Peter's vision, this includes dogs, cats, vultures, and rats: but you just don't see people getting excited about a cat-meat sandwich like they do over barbecued pork or bacon. Others say that it was Paul who rescinded the law forbidding pork to humans, in order to appease the Romans, who enjoyed the taste of pig-meat. Many excuses have been given, but none are very sound

Damn hypocrites.

Trump and Knauss

There are 3 logic reasons why Melania Knauss likes Trump

1) He’s packing Ron Jeremy/Rocco Siffredi like heat

2) She has an extreme combover fetish

3) The monies

Online hard drive

Sometime this past spring, I found some old floppies from high school. One of the files was a summary on Hamlet, which was created to help me study for the Hamlet test in English 12.

It was 4600 words. And I think I did it over a week or weekend.

Email: noporns@gmail.com
Password: gimmee

Some Ryan Cabrera album and Slayer: Reign in Blood both have also been uploaded to the account (two friends requested them) I don’t know about that Cabrera album, but Reign in Blood is worthy of the praise that receives.

In future, I will be uploading other stuff (i.e. videos).

Stay Tuned

Side note: I ended up getting 45/50 on the Hamlet test. Ironically doing the worst on the true & false (21/25) and the best on quotation stuff (24/25).