Just do it

I've come to realize that saving sex for marriage has to be one of the most asinine ideas ever.

For better or worse, sexual intimacy is a very important part of a successful marriage and if you wait until you get hitched, how in the world will the couple figure out whether they're sexually compatible?! In an extreme example, what if one partner is into S&M while the other is completely opposed? Ok. Maybe not a likely scenario you say. What about a more common situation where one person has a very high libido while the other has none? What if the low libido person imposes a no masturbation rule because "it would be like cheating" or maybe some other manipulative explanation would be used. Isn't low libido (LL) essentially holding high libido (HL) hostage? There are 3 possible outcomes:

1) HL is miserable and goes insane.
2) HL jerks off. LL gets pissed. Tension ensues.
3) HL cheats. The end most likely.

HL somehow lives with it? Are you insane? Biologically this is an epic fail waiting to happen.

Some might say that if HL really loved LL, HL whould comply with LL's demands. That's a pile of BS. This isn't like HL constantly leaving the cap off of the toothpaste; this is a big deal. If LL cared about HL, LL should at least have a compromise. Of course, these kind of problems would be avoided if they didn't wait. Some might say you can still wait if you just talk it over beforehand laying out your entire wants and needs. Even then, what if one person is dynamite while the other person is a complete dud? You can't exactly talk about that beforehand.


Disclaimer: I follow the Savage Love columns and podcasts which has influenced me on such matters.