Regarding February 14th

Ladies and Gentlemen, the bundle of joy that is Kyle McCreary.

“I hate Valentine's Day. I can tollerate most secularized christian holidays because they usually involve me getting free stuff. This one however also promotes the supposed need to be in relationships. I dont think I need to explain my opinion towards relationships. So I can understand the need to promote consumption to fuel the economy using the veil of religion, but to put any substance into the message is nonsense. I mean theyve stripped christmas of all meaning, and it had a far more powerful mesage to begin with. I guess the notion of a woman waiting on a man for gifts is an important norm to perpetuate to maintain womens subserviant position in the social order. “

Awwwww, someone needs a hug




Good Download - Tool: The Grudge

So you wanna be a porn star?

A non-executive position in the porn industry would really suck.

You’re either a) a performer or b) a crew person.

For women, the low points of this industry are pretty obvious, but it also isn’t all sunshine and lollipops for guys either.

Performer

The perks are obvious, but…

1) Under the make-up and silicone chests, most of the girls are actually average to below average looking.

2) Sure most guys could do a single scene no problem. But what about 2? 3? 4? 5? All in rapid succession?

3) Is your name Rocco Siffredi? Ron Jeremy? No? Therefore you’re more or less a stage prop that has a very tenuous grip on a low paying job.

4) Ever try getting an erection while the production crew watched you, with the knowledge that if you can’t get it up, you’re deemed “unreliable” thus ending your career?

Crew person

Bob + hundreds of porno scenes = Very Jaded Bob.

Remember, without these hard working men and women, we’d have a very tense population.

Kobe has needs

From the transcript of a july 2003 conversation between Kobe Byrant and two Eagle Count, Colorado detectives after a hotel worker accused the NBA star of rape:

Detective Loya: Did you ask her if you could come on her face?

Bryant: Yes. That’s when she said no.

Loya. So you like to come on your partner’s face?

Bryant: That’s my thing. Not always. I mean, so I stopped. Jesus Christ.

Detective Winters: What next?

Bryant: I stopped pumping and just stood there.

Loya: And then what happened?

Bryant: Nothing. She was like, “Can I have an autograph?”

Winters: I don’t think we’re getting all the facts. I look at this way: She’s an attractive young lady ---

Bryant: She wasn’t that attractive.

Winters: Well, she’s okay. She’s young; she was excited to see you. You both got caught up in the moment. She started thinking, I don’t want to do this. I think you tried… you just wanted to finish.

Bryant: I didn’t finish a fucking thing. Matter of fact, I jerked off after she left.

A Perfect Circle

One day in Hamber, I was in the fourth floor lounge (the girl’s floor) with a bunch of third floor guys. Karl was reading a Cosmo on the table (For those who didn’t know Karl, he was a short, fat sack of Polish shit).

Karl - “This is complete bullshit. A woman thought of this position”.

I looked at the Cosmo to see what the fuss was about. I forget the name of the sex position, but basically it was the missionary position except the guy does a 360 while the girl lies still.

Start/End Point

Middle Point

“Difficulty: 10/10”

No kidding. Penises usually don’t bend that way.

Or so I thought until I read the January 2005 edition of Playboy.

Whoa

I haven’t actually seen the video, although you can probably find it floating out there on the net. (hint: Try googling "Micky Yanai Helicopter Fuck")

Ok, they’re doing it doggy style and not missionary, so I suppose it’s a bit different from the Cosmo position. As it stands, I still think the Cosmo maneuver is impossible; I think most guys would agree with me.

Good Download – A Perfect Circle: The Hollow

Deuteronomy

The Ten Crack Commandments

1) Never let no one know how much dough you hold.

2) Never let 'em know your next move.

3) Never trust nobody.

4) Never get high on your own supply.

5) Never sell no crack where you rest at.

6) That goddamn credit? Dead it.

7) Keep your family and business completely separated.

8) Never keep no weight on you.

9) If you ain't gettin bagged, stay the fuck from police.

10) A strong word called consignment; if you ain't got the clientele say hell no.

FAQ

Q: Isn’t this a repost from Dec 18, 2004?

A: Sure it is, but I couldn’t think of any other post that fits the theme

Q: Theme?

A: I don’t pick exotic/weird post titles to boost my ego. Think about it.

Numbers

Perfect dark

Majora’s mask


Final Fantasy Tactics

Xenogears


Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

Chrono Cross

Rainbow Six


Alpha Centauri

For less than $25 bucks in an online store or ebay, you’d be crazy to blow off these deals. Arguably, Majora’s mask is the shortest game and offers the least amount of replay value and it’d still take a good 20 hours to finish the game.

Why spend $60-$80 on a newly released game that may be awful (Xenosaga) or mediocre (Tekken 4) when you know these good and reliable games are available for less than $25.

Note: I’m assuming that you haven’t played these games.

FAQ

Q: So Ed, why haven’t you taken advantage of these deals?

A: Well gee, I have at one time owned or still own all of these games. And aside from Castlevania, I’ve completed them all. This is my current buying strategy although sometimes I can’t resist and end up buying a newly released game (ie, Fight Night Round 2)

Q: Any particular reason why these specific games were chosen?

A: I owned or still own these games. And for some reason, I felt that these games slipped through the cracks and never got the recognition that they deserved.

Q: How come you didn’t include any pre 32/64 bit era games?

A: Because you can download the ROMs.

Fuck Nintendo’s stance on ROMs. These pre 32/64 bit game cartridges are no longer in production, so you’d have to buy a used copy from a third party (ie, someone on ebay). Either way, Nintendo doesn’t get a dime, but they claim it hurts their bottom line (bullshit, they don’t get
a dime either way). It’s these types of idiotic, draconian policies that

1) Gave the Sega Genesis an early 55% market share lead over the SNES.

2) Relegated the N64 to second place behind the PS one (Cartridges over CDs. What a horrible idea.)

3) Relegated the Gamecube (it looks like a kid’s lunchbox) to third place behind the PS2 and Xbox.

Q: Why don’t you simplify your game purchasing plans by simply buying World of Warcraft?

A: I’ve already had an Evercrack addiction. Don’t want to go back.

Leviticus

“I drop unexpectedly like bird shit”

~ The Notorious B.I.G

Unlike most blogs, I generally don’t do dairy style posts (aside from recap posts for ultimate).

Instead, like the title of my blog suggests, I write about whatever comes to mind. Since I don’t think like most people, topics vary wildly from porno and scrambled eggs to writing in a washroom stall.

If I thought that a picture of a dead animal would make a great post, I’d do it in a heartbeat. As a matter of fact, I’m planning to do something along these lines anyways. If I only had a scanner…