How to Rob

Disclaimer: I don't officially endorse or approve of these tactics. I'm just stating the facts

do what I gotta, to eat a decent meal
brothers is starvin', don't try to find a job son
it's all about robbin'


Low on funds?
Minimum wage unappealing?
Desperately need food/shelter/drugs/sex?
Strong nihilistic opinions?

Well son, it's time for robbin'. Here are your best bets.


4) Grocery Stores

Ever watch Pulp Fiction?

Unlike restaurants, there is a large flow of $20 and $50 through grocer cashiers. Sure crowd control would be a bitch and the manager/supervisor might've emptied the cashiers of 20's and 50's (it occurs several times a day), but no one ever said life as a thief would be easy.


3) Airports

Smooth talker? Liked minded criminal friends?

You'll definitely clean up then. It's remarkably easy to distract an unsuspecting air passenger.

You: "Hi have you seen my son/daughter?", "Where is terminal X?"
………..
Them: "Where's my luggage!?!"

I've seen this on Dateline NBC. Even untrained reporters pulled this off with deadly efficiency.


Lacking verbal skills?

No worries. Just hit up some conveyor belts.

Outcome 1: You get the luggage
Outcome 2: "Oh sorry, I thought this was my bag/suitcase etc etc"

The best case would be when the luggage is released onto the belt well before any passenger reaches it.


2) UBC Rec events.

Remember that time when you sprinting all out for the Frisbee in ultimate? Or what about that time when you were getting ready for that big spike in volleyball?


Tell me, were you looking at the sidelines to see if your belongings were safe and secure?


1) UBC Libraries

Naïve FOBs, absent-minded kids, sleepy people = $$$$$