Quotable

Quotes from Sir Charles

[When asked if he had any regrets about throwing a man through a restaurant window] “I regret we weren't on a higher floor."

[On playing basketball with HIV positive Magic Johnson] “We're just playing basketball. It's not like we're going out to have unprotected sex with Magic."

"Professional athletes should not be role models. Hell, I know drug dealers who can dunk. Can drug dealers be role models too?"

[On his retirement] "Just what America needs--another unemployed black man"

"Ex-teams are like ex-wives. Deep, deep down, you know you can't stand them."

"I can be bought. If they paid me enough, I'd work for the Klan."

"If push came to shove, I could lose all self-respect & become a reporter."

“Golf and sex are the only two things that you can be bad at and still have a good time.”

[On his thoughts about retiring before the season] "I remember sitting down with the Rockets and saying, 'Yeah. I'm going to retire.' They said, 'Well, we'll give you $9 million.' And I said, 'You got a pen on you?'"

EJ: "Did you graduate from Auburn?"
Charles: "No, but I have a couple people working for me who did."

Charles: "I'm so sick of fat people."
Kenny: "Why? You can't live with yourself?"
Charles: "First of all, they killed Oreos. You know they can't make the Double-Stuff Oreos anymore because fat people can't keep their mouths shut. Now they're killing the McDonald's super-size. Can you believe that? Just because fat people are lazy and don't work out and can't keep they're mouths shut, they have to ruin it for everybody. They'll probably kill ice cream next! Is that my fault they can't stop eating? I'm so sick of these fat people suing these companies. Stop eating!"

Doctor Shaq

Shaq has a MBA.


No. Really.



Did you also know that Shaq hunts down internet sexual predators in his spare time?

What a stand up guy!



Now if Shaq could only commit fewer offensive fouls......